how i feel

what do u do,

when all u want,,

is to feel alive,

to be loved,

to feel like u belong,

i didnt know what to do

but in the end i found a way to let it all out :(

its about me,

doesnt to know to live my life without pain,

without hate,without distrust,without anger,without lies,

this is about me!

to say:

i hurt myself,

nearly everyday,

i just want to be normal,

but it seems that i`ll never be

there`s to much pain that time cannot erase,

to survive i ,

cut and scratch myself,

unable to control the pain in my life,

i cant forget,the words u said,

the things u did, the look in your eyes,

the pain u made me feel

i feel worthless,

i feel hurt,angry,alone,used, lost and so much more,

i am bad,

i am just everything i hate

who cares anyway?

i hate that i just cant trust anyone

not even myself...:(

i hate being afraid,

that im just gonna lose another person....

i hate my body,

i hate ME,

everything feels wrong,

and i have to punish myself for all my mistakes,

i feel like crap that i cant wash away,

can only try cut it out,

and this works,

at least for a while,

im caged inside

and im tired of it,

and sometimes i just wont do anything else but QUIT

i hide my sadness by the fake smiles that i put on every single day

Im not seeking attetion,

i do it because

i wanna die,

to be able to breath again,

to ease my mind from all the thoughts

memories and everything i cant let go of....